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Planting Churches Committed to Relational Discipleship

  • Dr. Bob Harrington
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In October 1998, Jim Putman and three other committed Christians planted Real Life Ministries in Post Falls, Idaho.  This year, the church witnessed an attendance of over 8,500 on weekends, with about 8,000 in small groups, in addition to planting several other churches, including one nearby, which has well over 1,000 in attendance.  Recently listed, now, as the 66th largest church in the USA, and as the fastest growing church per capita in the U.S. (the county in which they reside has only about 120,000 people), Real Life Ministries is gaining national attention in the USA.

As a church planter, trainer of church planters, and coach of church planters, I attended Real Life's training conference in late April, 2006.  In the 2.5 years that have followed, I have talked on a monthly basis with Jim, sponsored and attended numerous seminars that he has led around the USA, and plan to hold Stadia and Church Coaching Solution's next Church Planter Bootcamp a Real Life Ministries in February, 2009.  Jim has recently written a book explaining the ministry of the church called, Church is a Team Sport that explains many of the principles behind the church's success. For the sake of church planters and other leaders, I have summarized what the church does in the following 10 principles that explain "Relational Discipleship."   

1. The Church's Goal is to help Each Person It Encounters Become a Disciple of Jesus.  The mission of Real Life Ministries is discipleship.  It is the focus and goal in all that the church does.  It is not one of the five purposes of the church, as Rick Warren taught in his popular book, The Purpose Driven Church.  Discipleship is the one purpose that becomes the umbrella under which all the other purposes fit. When a person truly follows Jesus, they will practice worship, fellowship, ministry, and outreach, as Warren rightfully teaches us.  But at Real Life, the clarity about discipleship as the focal point, puts everything else in perspective. Everyone is clear that the end game is trusting and following Jesus as described in Matthew 28:19-20 where Jesus said:  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you and surely I am with until the end of the Age."   

Large crowds, big buildings, and great programs mean very little to the leaders at this church, unless they help people to become followers of Jesus Christ.  I interviewed some of the women who were serving the poor during a community outreach in Post Falls.  I asked them what they were doing.  With a kindness the displayed deep and genuine compassion, a women spoke up and said, "we are helping these people because they need our help and we get to tell them about Jesus."  I was repeatedly reminded, in my recent visit, of the statement made by New Testament scholar Richard Longnecker, when he said that discipleship is "the major, fundamental, and underlying theme of the entire New Testament." (Patterns of Discipleship in the New Testament).  Real Life's mission statement makes their focus clear:  "we will create biblical disciples in relational environments."    

2. The End Goal is not just Making Disciples, but making Disciples who are Making Disciples.  A careful reading of the great commission in Matthew 28:19-20 leads to a piercing conclusion: a person is not a fully devoted disciple until he or she is making disciples of others.  Stated differently, we cannot be fully Christ-like until we are consciously helping others to follow us in being Christ-like (1 Cor. 11:1).   God wants us to make disciples, who make disciples.

Because of their clarity, Real Life works to consciously develop leaders at every level of church ministry.  They seek to start each group and ministry with a goal of discipling people and raising up new leaders.  Each leader is to have an apprentice. Each apprentice is developed so that he or she can grow into a leadership role. At every level the focus is  developing leaders, almost as much as making disciples.  If they have to pick between putting on a good show or developing new leaders, Real Life will pick developing leaders.  The church consciously rejects superstars who perform well in public in favor of environments and settings where average people can develop into leaders.  Here is what they aim for in terms of a specific, yet simple profile of a disciple at Real Life:

  •    One who is following Christ - has made Jesus Lord of their life.
  •    One who is being changed by Christ - is becoming like Christ in attitude and action.
  •    One who is committed to the mission of Christ (discipling others).


Most of the (now large) ministerial staff at Real Life are normal people who came from a non-Christian background. They have been discipled. They are former mechanics, school teachers, business men, and factory workers who got into the ministry by being put into "the game" where they were developed as effective small group leaders and then as coaches of small group leaders.

When starting the church, Jim asked, "how are we going to create a system that produces disciplers?"  They then set out, trusting God, and determined that they would produce people who would disciple other people.  In the end, the entire church has been developed around the idea that every ministry and group is a success only if it develops people - who develop people.

3. Relational Environments are the Context and Environment for Making Disciples.  Real Life's mission statement makes evident their method of discipleship:  "we will create biblical disciples in relational environments."  Their vision statement also tips us off to their method - we will reach the world for Jesus one person at a time.   If we ask how Jesus made disciples as described in the gospels, the answer is clear - through relationships.  If we ask how parents were instructed in the Bible to make disciples, the answer in Deuteronomy 6 and Ephesians 6 is clear - through relationships.  If we ask how the apostle Paul made disciples, according to the intimate reports in his epistles, the answer is clear - through relationships.  Yet, we have not commonly practiced this model in our churches for over 200 years (since the Enlightenment).  Real Life ministries has reclaimed it.   

One of the best ways to show the distinctiveness of what most churches have been practicing is to contrast educational discipleship (cognitive discipleship) with relational discipleship (as practiced at Real Life).   Educational Discipleship - The study of the Bible with an emphasis on lecture and preaching with a focus on head-knowledge, so that people understand in their heads/minds both who Jesus is and what he wants us to do.   Relational Discipleship - A personal relationship (which often uses various means of teaching) out of which a person gets help following Jesus with his head, heart, and hands. It is the method of discipleship that Jesus used to train the 12, especially Peter, James, and John.  Here are some of the axioms at Real Life . . . .

  • Without relationship there is no discipleship, just the passing of information. We cannot accomplish what Jesus wants or be what Jesus wants us to be, without doing it the Jesus' way - which is relationships. Jesus' whole methodology is about discipleship through relationship.
  • God's Word, God's Spirit, God's people = God's strength. Getting people in relationship where they can keep each other accountable, grow, and develop is the key. In my relationship I must show people what to do and explain why we do it this way - "That which is unintentional is un-reproducible."


 At Real Life, they believe that If a church does not create relational environments for discipleship, it does not give people the practical and "real life" ability to be what God wants them to be.

Educational Discipleship Relational Discipleship 
Education Changes us
Head
Emphasizes Factual Knowledge
Study and Facts
Understanding
Content
Requires Attention
Relational Discipleship Changes Us
Head, Heart and Hands
Emphasizes Life Application
Bible Application
Modeling/coaching
Behavior Change
Supportive Relationship
Requires personal relationship


4. Real Life's Relational Focus is Built Around "Intentional Love" for Each Person.  The relational environment at Real Life Ministries is grounded and built upon intentional love. The Greek behind the Bible word for this love is Agape, described in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-9: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  Jim Putman oozes this intentional love for people.  He truly cares individually about each person that he meets.  Yes, to repeat it, he individually cares for each person.  As his father before him, Jim seeks to simply and profoundly love, as best he can, each person that he meets. New churches reflect the values of the founding leaders.  Real Life was built on Jim's love. To Jim, love is not sentimental or theoretical or abstract.  Love is the conscious act of your will.  It is called, "intentional love."   

When he started the church, Jim would call every person who missed a Sunday service.  That's right, everyone! The call was not a judgmental, "where were you call?"  It was an, "are you OK? We missed you call."  And Jim did it week, after week, after week.  And the church kept growing.  He was once asked by the leader of another church: "why would you do that?"  Surprised, Jim responded, "If you are a shepherd of the people, why wouldn't you do that?" Based upon Ezekiel 34 (and many other passages), Jim deeply believes that church leaders are responsible to care for the people.    Highly intentional love is the air that people now breathe at Real Life.  Countless doctors and nurses in the local hospitals, teachers in schools, and counselors helping people have been moved to visit the church because they are in awe at the way the people from Real Life ministries care for one another, as witnessed around the community.  The church is now the primary social service agency in their county.   

People come to Real Life and say, "wow, look at the Relationships."  People are always asking one another: "Are you OK?" "Are you alright?" "Is there anything I can help you with?" They have an environment of caring, loving, and looking out for one another - and when you walk in you can feel it.    

We are living in what former Microsoft executive Linda Stone aptly labeled the age of ''continuous partial attention.''  Too many Christians in too many churches are too busy to love each other.  Continuous partial attention is when you are on the Internet while talking on the cell phone.  It is checking your BlackBerry while watching your child's soccer gaime. It is multitasking gone wild.  Christians, too often, devote only partial attention to each other and less to the lost world.  Consequently, we do not love well.  Real Life rejects the continuous partial attention practiced by so many and embraces highly intentional love.  By this, Jesus said, all men will know you are my disciples (John 13:34-35). 

5. The Primary Method of Discipleship is Small Group Gatherings.   Relationships are the focus at Real Life because they believe that relationships are Jesus' method of discipleship. They emphasize relationships, not as a backdoor strategy, not because people are hungry for relationships, and not because people want friends. The leaders are Real Life believe that Jesus used small group relationships for discipleship and consequently, if we are to follow him, we too must use small group relationships for discipleship. Their emphasis on small groups is not a pragmatic choice; it springs form biblical conviction.  They believe that Jesus modeled making disciples in a small group, with his 12 disciples.  To Real Life, this is the Biblical way Christians are to follow Jesus.  So strong is Jim's conviction about small groups, that he tells all who will listen that small groups are more important than the church's weekend services.  They do not see themselves as a church with small groups; rather, they are a church of small groups. There was a period in Real Life meteorite rise where small group attendance began lagging behind the attendance at weekend services.  Jim became concerned.  So he asked everyone at the weekend services to do better and to commit to small groups.  And then he told the church that if things didn't change, he was prepared to cancel the weekend services.  By the next week, small group attendance skyrocketed.    

Everyone at the church knows that the small group is the focus of the church.  Weekend services are designed with small groups in mind:  at every service, in big ways and small ones, people are pointed to the groups.  A small group might be a prime example in a sermon. Or Jim might have a special prayer for the small group leaders during the service. Or Jim might encourage people to unpack the implications of his teaching in their small group. Or it might be a simple word of encouragement to thank one's small group leader that week.  Small groups are vitally important to the people at Real Life and everything points people to them. 

6. They have a Simple "Discipleship Process" that all Small Groups Leaders Know and Utilize.   Tom Rainer and Eric Geiger recently published a book called Simple Church.  The thesis of the book is that the most effective churches today are those churches that have a simple and clear process for making disciples that everyone in the church understands.  When I read the book, I kept thinking, it is describing Real Life Ministries. 

Before going into ministry, Jim Putman was a national-class wrestler who became a phenomenal wrestling coach.  Jim developed wrestling programs that produced state champion after state champion.  The experience taught him how to develop systems that developed people.  Jim learned that you had to develop one step after another.  In wrestling, a good coach would not push a wrestler into a match until he had prepared the wrestler.  As a coach, Jim developed systems that starting training kids as early as the 7th grade, so that by the time they because juniors and seniors they were capable of becoming State champions.  God blessed Jim with the ability to apply the principles of development he learned in wrestling to the church.  The utilized the principles of development to create a simple discipleship process. 

Real Life consciously takes people from where they are and then - step by step - through a simple discipleship process that equips them, over time, to move to maturity.  The process is called the S.C.M.D. process.  It moves people from unbelief into the Share phase (where they accept the basic teaching of the gospel).  People are then encouraged to move into the Connect phase, where they will connect with other Christians (and God) in a small group.  From the Connect phase, people are lovingly encouraged to move into the Ministry phase, where like Christ, they desire to serve and help others. 

Then, lastly, after maturing into the Minister phase, people are encouraged to move into the Discipler phase, where they are leading others by "discipling them" in the Ways of Christ.  

7. The Church Staff Focus Upon Developing Small Group Leaders and Coaches of Small Group Leaders.  The small group is the focal point for making disciples in relational environments and the key to small groups is the development of effective small group leaders.  So the staff of the church focuses upon supporting small group leaders and coaches of small group leaders.  All ministries in the church are built around small groups, from the youth ministry, to the Recovery Ministry, to the men's ministry, to the women's ministry, etc.,.  Most people think that a small group leader is a teacher or a rabbi type person.  But at Real Life Ministries what they want is someone who will 1) facilitate a group and 2) relationally disciple those who are part of the group.  The small group leader is a pastoral person who will love the people in his group with a desire to help them become more and more Christ-like.  The small group leader is the person who makes sure that each person gets the care that he or she needs.  When someone is sick When someone misses group or church two times in a row Meals for people in the hospital Non-Salvation doctrinal stuff - how it is handled How to handle relational difficulties

Because effective small group leaders are the key to small groups, they need really good coaches.  Each small group leader has a coach.  Regular, weekly coaching is the key - small group leaders need to know what do you do when things don't work out.  Sometimes a good coach will need to confront a small group leader. The DNA at Real Life is ongoing assessment of effectiveness in relational discipleship. The coach must have an active, ongoing and support relationship with the small group leader.  This means dinners, lunches, regular phone calls, etc.,.  So, when they have to deal with the hard parts of discipleship, they have a relationship.  "We love you, but here is what is happening . . . ."  A coach's role is to help the small group leader love and disciple those in his group.  The key leadership function in the church, then, is the development of a growing number of effective small group leaders and coaches.  The staff and leaders of the church direct their energies to the development of these key people.  Their development is the biggest predictor for the increase in the church's ministries in the community and impact upon an increasing number of people.

8. There is Complete Alignment Among All Leaders on the Theology, Philosophy of Ministry,  and Organizational structure of the church.  At Real Life Ministries, everyone is asked to learn, follow, and uphold the same playbook.   Every leader and even those who are casual attenders automatically state the concepts regularly. They call it "alignment."  Their alignment focuses on the basics.  There are three fundament parts to it.  First, theologically, they adhere to and rally around a basic evangelical faith statement which has Restoration Movement accents (including the importance of baptism, leadership by elders, weekly communion).  They are firmly grounded in Grace.  In fact, they defend the gospel of Grace strongly, clearly, and without compromise.  At the same time, they have clearly defined the theological non-negotiables of the church, in a simple statement that upholds the core truths of the faith.  Beyond these basic beliefs and practices, all other matters are non-salvation issues and up to the individual believer.  However, the non-salvation issues must not become a focus that divides and non-salvation issues must not be discussed in a divisive manner.   This theological alignment enables the church to avoid theological debates, achieve theological and interpersonal unity, and, most importantly, be fee to focus upon practical discipleship (their mission). 

Secondly, philosophically, the church is committed to "Relational Discipleship." It is expressed in the church's mission, vision, values, structure, and process.  Everyone is explicitly asked, on a regular basis, to uphold the philosophy of the church. This means, at the heart of the church, and at all levels, relationships are fundamentally important.  The focus is loving relationships for the purpose of discipleship. 

Again, it would almost be impossible to overstate how much intentional love and relationships are emphasized as the means and method for disciple making for the whole church.  Every person is repeatedly asked to commit to this philosophy in everything that happens at the church.  Thirdly, the organizational structure of the church is build around small groups and a relational discipleship process that leads people through their simple, four fold discipleship process.  Every leader is actively in relationships that lead to discipleship - from the elders to the staff, to the staff to the other staff which they supervised, to the coaches of the small groups which the staff oversee, to the small group leaders which have coaches that oversee their ministry, to the members of the small group which each of the small group leaders watch over.  Everything in the church leads to relational discipleship in small groups.  

In the end, this alignment is so thoroughly embedded at every level of the church, theologically, philosophically, and organizationally, that everyone has focus about "who they are," "what they are to do," and how they are "to do it."  Everything is clear.  9. The Leadership Repetitiously Focuses Upon and Casts Vision for the Church's Basics.  Jim Putman and his team are clear about what they believe that God wants for his church - making disciples in relational environments (small groups).  The mission and vision of the church are simple and profoundly clear.  They are repeated all the time - in practical ways, strategic ways, through stories, through prayer times during the service, and in all the gatherings, meetings, and seminars of the church.  It does not take long to understand what the church is about because it is reiterated so often.   

When I have attended the church services or watched them on DVD, I am impressed by how seamlessly and effectively the practical, down to earth vision of the church is cast each Sunday.   That vision is spelled out in the publications, in the announcements, in the teaching, and in the prayers.  Jim, or the other teachers, will point people to small groups and relationships numerous times in each lesson.   They will pray for small group leaders or show clips of small group leaders doing baptisms (they have up to 600 or 700 baptism annually). People will be encouraged to sign up for small groups or to meet with some folks in some type of relational gathering.  In fact, most Sundays the leaders of Real Life lead the people at the service through a guided prayer.  In this guided prayer, with spiritual sensitivity and gentleness, the leader leads the people to practically pray through the elements of the church's discipleship process in a personal ways - from truths about Christ that they need to accept, to people in their small group that they need to help, to a ministry service that perhaps they should be open to, to a leadership responsibility that might be weighting.    

The staff in all their meetings keep coming back to the basic vision of relational discipleship.  Each year, all leaders, at all levels of the church, must attend a renewal seminar.  At this seminar, the leaders of the church go over their theology, philosophy, and organization strategy again.  Jim says that it is like a football coach who must make sure that all the players have the same play book at the start of each year.  It is essential for unity and effectiveness.  It is impossible to be a part of the church and not be guided by the basic and practical vision of the church. It is hard to overstate how often and clearly their mission, vision, values, and strategy are repeated to the church, at every level. 

10. They Have Strong Biblically Based Leadership.  This last point should be patently clear by now.  Jim Putman and his team are strong, godly, and highly competent leaders.  Leadership is the most important determining factor in the life of a church.  Sadly, in too many places, strong leadership is lacking.  Leadership, as I am defining it, is being like Jesus.  It is modeling, initiative, direction, and service that calls God's people to follow.   Leadership calls God's people, to follow the God's leaders, as they follow Christ.   

The church and her leaders are unambiguously committed to scripture and what it teaches.  The lordship of Christ through scripture rings out strongly in all they do.  They are willing to be counter-cultural and pay the price on a host of issues.  They regularly teach, discribe, and model the unique ways of Jesus.  The church would not be having the impact on the large numbers of people that it is changing, if it were not for the strong, yet wise and spirit filled leadership that Jim Putman displays.  To some Jim can appear overly bold, strong, and almost too forthright, yet there is a God honoring humility and wisdom that goes hand and hand with this strength.  I have found that Jim uniquely evaluates everything he can by the simple teaching of scripture and the mind of Christ.  He has received the benefit of many teachers, including his parents who have spent a life time of ministry emphasizing love and a commitment to scripture and God.  His experience as a wrestling coach and youth minister has been crucial to his leadership development.  He learned, early on, how people need practical help to develop skills and that, more than anything, they need to be loved.   

In the end, the leadership of Jim and his team, is a unique gift and work that God has done through the church.   Their leadership is having a huge impact in their community and they are now branching out by planting other churches.  Matt King has taken the same practices from Real Life and has developed to a church plant in Spokane, Washington where there are already thousands attending, after a few short years.  Aaron Couch left and planted another Real Life Ministries church in Moscow, Idaho recently and within a few short months they witnessed hundreds in attendance.  And other leaders from the church are now also moving out, with the DNA of the leadership they have learned to plant even more churches grounded in relational discipleship.  Soon, Real Life Ministries will be a national and global network of high impact churches.   My prayer is that more and more leaders will spent time learning what they do and how to apply these principles in their churches.